One day, robots will cry.

I feel like this whole break is shaping up to be eating and sleeping. If my family didn't make so much noise, I'd probably just sleep through the whole thing. At any rate it would be entertaining; I had a lot of dreams last night. First I dreamed I was seeing Kiros, but half the band had left and the other half looked like completely different people and I didn't recognize them. Then I dreamed I was a Pokemon trainer and somehow I got pushed into a raging river or something and got hurt pretty bad. Then I dreamed my teeth were falling out, which is positively the worst kind of dream to have. Then I dreamed I was spooning with this guy I've met like one time, and it was really random but I was totally cool with it. I think that's it. I kept waking up in the middle of stuff because my head was cold and my covers kept coming off. Brr. I'm going to sit in front of the fire now and try to be a little more excited about life.

It kind of bothers me how early Christmas starts. Don't get me wrong, the Christmas season is one of my favorite times of year. I love all the twinkling lights and I love how happy everybody is. Walking around the streets is like walking around Gordon - you can talk to anyone and you'll get a smile or a laugh, whether you've ever met them or not. But seriously, the stores have been playing Christmas music for two weeks already. Don't wear it out, people.

It sickens me how the materialism of the season just gets worse and worse every year. This year I'm trying not to ask for a lot of things I don't need. I need a new phone, for instance, and socks that don't have holes in them. But I'm refraining from asking for a new iPod, even though mine fails, because at least it still plays music. I'm not asking for clothes or CDs, either. I could go for tickets to see Reel Big Fish at the Palladium in January, though... *hint hint* Yeah, but the best price I can find is $75. Boo.

Ok. La-la-la-laundry time, then left-overs. Routine. Blah. I hate predictability.

Spoonage?!

Why is my room so effing cold??? I'd get as much warmth sleeping out in my car... with the heater off. Anybody up for spooning...?

I went to brunch with Trish today and afterward we went in search of a cafe that served steamers. We found one in downtown Hingham and I got the best mint chocolate steamer I've ever had. Then we jammed a little and watched some Lovely Complex, which is pretty much the most adorable show ever except for maybe My Neighbor Totoro (but that's a movie, not a show). I've been playing my bass a lot lately. I wish I was in a band so I'd have more motivation to practice. Oh, and so I'd have a good excuse to travel across the country in a van. ^_^

Then my mom made me come home to see my sister and then go visit my grandpa. I figured we were supposed to spend quality time or something but we just watched Oprah for like an hour, which was painfully boring and I wished I'd stuck around at Trisha's and played bass some more. I painted my nails fluorescent pink and worked on my string project to pass the time. But then my mommy made me grilled cheese with tomato in it, and the cheese was the right color (i.e. not orange like the stuff in Lane), and all was forgiven.

I watched Wall-E with Robby and his family tonight. Cutest movie ever!! Especially from the perspective of a comm major who's gone through the process of telling a story without dialog. Not that Wall-E had NO dialog, but the parts that didn't have it, didn't need it, and even the parts that had it told the story very visually. I guess once you get into film this is how you start to think about all movies without even trying. Haha.

Then Rob and I went to visit Charles, who didn't say much because he was busy slaying zombies. I'm pretty sure the only information we actually exchanged was that I do not, in fact, have a boyfriend at school, thank you very much for asking. Now I'm listening to some lovely acoustic music to try and purge my mind of the rather gruesome thought of zombies spawning and eating people. And still working on not freezing. I think I'll try and sleep now; it's probably my warmest option. If I start having zombie nightmares... I just have to remember to count my fingers.....

Dismantle. Repair.

I'm home. I wasn't going to leave til tomorrow, but I didn't feel like sitting still. I still don't feel like sitting still. I'm very restless and discontent. I want to be somewhere else. I want to be with other people, and the people I want to be with the most are the hardest to pin down.

On the bright side, I got to see Joe tonight! It felt so normal for him to be there, and I can't explain why; even when he was going to Gordon last year, it wasn't like we hung out all the time. But somehow it was like he never left. We made pizza at his sister's apartment and I brought peanut butter brownies. I bring brownies to almost everything, and if not brownies, then ba-freakin-nana awesome bread or seven-layer dip. Pretty much I buy people's friendship with food. Ahaha, I hope that's not actually true. I just really like feeding people.

Anyway, after that we went to the Prancing Pony, which is the new "tavern" on campus. It's got a lovely atmosphere and really feels like the old-time pub from Lord of the Rings. There are only two problems. One, it's not actually called "the Prancing Pony," although all the cool kids call it that. It's actually named after our donor's cat, Chester, and when some kids decided to be funny and steal the "Chester's Place" sign, our donor got pissed and threatened to withdraw funding. Eek. The other problem is that it's not even a real tavern because they don't serve alcohol. I'm not saying I'd drink it, even if I was of age. But come on, people. As my poetry professor said one class, "Why don't they get a fake brothel on campus, too?"

I digress again. After the tavern, we went to Claymore, where a friend of Joe's and Sarah's gave them free drinks. Good stuff. Claymore is where most of my meal points go these days. Heh. Throughout all of this, the crowd of people with us was dwindling until it was just me and Joe. We walked around and visited some people in Wilson and Rider. One of Joe's friends in Rider has covered his entire wall with bottle caps. It looks fantastic and I kind of want to cover my bedroom door with bottle caps so I can pretend I'm half as awesome as this kid.

A little before 10, Sarah and Joe left for home and I decided to do the same. And here I am, ready for the next thing. I'm ready for another concert. The more you go to, the worse the withdrawal symptoms get. Gill and I might go see Cobra Starship on Friday. That would rule. Unless it's all psychotic little girls like last time. Ugh.

Overall it was a good night. It was great to finally see Joe again. So why do I feel so discontent, like something just isn't right? Like I'm not doing anything with my time or with my life, and I never have anything to show for the things I bother investing in, and I feel like I'm constantly dismantling things and relationships and other people and myself without having any clue how to repair them.

Wow, emo shpiel. Sorry to dump that on you. I get this way every so often and you can't hold it against me; I'm a woman.

Sundae Sunday

After writing an awful draft of my paper about writer's block, I decided to follow the advice I'd researched and I'm being a lot more productive with this draft than the last one. I wrote the first one the way I play disc golf... incrementally. And inefficiently.

Denise and I are going to Bugaboo Creek for dinner tonight because I've got a coupon that'll expire if I don't use it today. I'm stoked for pizookie!! For those of you who are unenlightened in the realm of pizza cookies, pizookie is a big brownie-like cookie made and served hot in a skillet with vanilla ice cream melting all over the top. And I start to melt a little inside just thinking about it. Mmmmm....

I'm getting a little wanderlusty. This morning, driving back from church, I realized how badly I want to see mountains right now. New Hampshire would be okay, I guess, but I really want to see big purple mountains like the Colorado Rockies. And I also got this random urge to drive to Rockport and watch the sun come up again. I'd probably freeze, of course. But it would be so beautiful!

Okay, back to that paper. And for the record, I think Bronx Mowgli Wentz is possibly the worst name contrived by mankind thus far, except for maybe "Xiotil."

----------------------------------
Currently listening: Muse - "Origin of Symmetry"

Everything is always for the band.

This is the second update I promised earlier this week. You see? I keep my word (usually ^_^).

Eli called me up the other day around noon to ask if I wanted to go to a show that night, and of course, that's an offer I can't refuse, even if I don't know the band. So we drove about an hour to this sweet-in-a-really-tacky-way little venue to see a band called Kiros.

Except when we got there, the place was still closed. The doors were supposed to have opened, but even the bands hadn't gotten inside yet. Eli sort of knew the guys in Kiros from the time he met them at Soulfest and he introduced me to a couple of them.

Finally someone opened the place and we helped unload the equipment from the trailer. I was freezing because I never bring anything into concerts, so I'd left my coat in Eli's car and was toting equipment wearing just a t-shirt. Well I mean, I obviously had pants on. But it was still really cold. Then Neil, who plays guitar for Kiros, let me borrow his gloves, which were big enough for me to fit both hands in one glove and looked positively ridiculous on me. So, naturally, I wore them all night and even threatened never to give them back.

Eli and I talked to Kiros a bit more while the other bands set up and played. The first thing Ryan (also guitar) said to me - and the only thing he kept saying to me all night - was that I smelled like poop. He even wrote it on the poster he signed for me. But I think I talked to Neil the most. And at least he knew how to be a nice person (i.e. he wrote on my poster that I smelled good ^_^). Not that I had a problem with Ryan being a goofball. Hello, think about the guys I hang out with at home....

The first couple sets were okay. Nothing spectacular musically, and the crowd was really tiny - like maybe 50 people? I'm bad at estimating. Anyway, Eli and a couple other people got the semblance of a mosh pit going (if 3-5 people can be considered a mosh pit) and I joined in. Because there was so much space to run around, we were going pretty fast and it was scary when we actually collided with each other. But really flipping awesome.

Kiros' set was good times. Ryan started by lighting Tyler's cymbals on fire, which created a massive fireball when he started playing. And the songs were downright catchy regardless of whether I could sing along, although Barry, the lead singer, taught us newbies some of the words so we could join in.

Eli and I helped Kiros pack out after the show. At this point, it was like half an hour to Eli's birthday and he used that fact to his advantage by inviting the guys to fast food after the show. So when we finally left around midnight, Neil came with us in Eli's car and we followed the van. But Wendy's was closed, and so was McDonald's, so we wound up at Taco Bell.

Hi, I'm a vegetarian. At least at Mickey's I could've gotten a fake-shake (they don't use real milk, I'm told). Neil recommended the apple empanada so I got that and cheese quesadillas. Then we all squished into the back of the van to eat.


Hehe, Tyler's face in this one....


Barry gives Eli a birthday hug.

Barry tried to pretend like some brownies they had in the van were actually for Eli's birthday, but they were totally sketchy brownies. I have a feeling they left out the vegetable oil or some other crucial ingredient that boys wouldn't understand the importance of. I promised to make them amazingtastic brownies someday. (If I'm going to make a habit of keeping my word, I should probably not make promises that aren't easy to keep...)


Ryan with the brownies.


Barry tries to carve Eli's name into the brownies.

After we'd all eaten and enjoyed a few good laughs at ridiculous names we made up for tours (such as "The Velocirap-tour"), it was time to go. I was having so much fun I would've stayed all night, but by then it was probably around 1:30AM and we had at least an hour's drive back to school. I totally fell asleep on the ride back. I think I even snored a little, which always happens when I fall asleep sitting up. How embarrassing. ^_~

Priceless quotes:
"So when I turned seven, she turned... existing." (Neil talking about my sister, who has the same birthday as him.)
"You smell like poop." (Ryan)
"Tour baby! We're taking your baby on tour with us!!" (Neil)
"Come on! Give me a high five!" (Ryan, chasing a little girl around trying to get her to give him a high five. But Neil told her not to, and she wouldn't even look at Ryan after that.)
"I'm not gay; I'm just in a band." (Neil)
"Oh! Excuse me for interrupting myself with that awesome fart." (Neil)
"The Rugrats Rep-tour!!" (Barry)
"The... God is our Lord and Crea-tour!" (Ryan)
Me: Can I have a sip of your soda?
Neil: Only if you call it by its proper name. Say "pop."
Me: Okay, can I have a sip of your pop?
Neil: Sure!

YEAH, I'm a scene kid. What of it?

Okay, update time. This one'll be kind of long because I actually have a life this week.

Number One:

I went to a FREE Mae show at Trisha's school. Beforehand we ate dinner at one of her friends' apartments. It was really yummy - rice, fish, curry (which I couldn't have because it had chicken in it), and an eggy-tomatoey thing that was absolutely heavenly. Dinner took a lot longer than we thought and we were sure we wouldn't get to the venue in time, but the doors opened later than they were supposed to and we got there in plenty of time.

The place was TINY; it was a Starbucks with a little stage area toward the back - not a whole lot bigger than your average coffee shop. We were right on top of the stage the whole show, quite literally - I had one foot resting on the stage and was leaning on the speakers.


Me sitting on the stage with Jacob's shmexy drum set in the background.

I got a very pleasant surprise when I saw that Mark, the bassist who left the band in summer '07 because he got married, had returned!! He was always sort of my favorite. He was so pretty, but mysterious. He played his bass in the shadows and didn't show up in the podcasts. If he did, it was with the whole group and he never said anything. In fact, I don't know if I'd ever heard his voice until that night. But surprisingly, he was grinning the whole show, clearly having the time of his life as he cracked jokes on stage and slapped Zach (guitar)'s butt while Zach was adjusting equipment. I figured he must have been really happy with his marriage and thought, 'good for him.'


Mark, Jacob, and Zach

The show was good times. They played a ton of songs off their first album, Destination: Beautiful, including "Soundtrack to our Movie," "All Deliberate Speed," and one I never expected to hear live, "Skyline Drive." They also played "Countdown," which was my first favorite song off The Everglow because it reminded me of wanting to get the heck out of my podunk little town. AND they played the totally-adorable "Just Let Go" off Singularity, their newest album. It's a falling-in-love song so naturally I'm a sucker for it.


Zach, Dave, and New Rob

When the show ended, Mark was getting off the stage and he steadied himself on my arm, so I seized the opportunity and stopped him for a second to ask when he'd joined back up. "I'm not here," he told me conspiratorially. "I'm a ghost." Grinning the whole time. And smelling of alcohol. Dag, that explained a lot, I guess. I said I would like to take a picture with him even though he was only a ghost.


Me with Mark, and new Rob being a goof in the background.

Then Mark was talking about how he was exhausted beyond all reason, and anything we said, he'd probably be like "yeahh! Good idea!" So, jokingly, since I knew he was already married, I nudged him and said, "Hey Mark, wanna get married sometime?" He was like, "There's only one problem with that idea..." and made a big show of pulling out his wedding ring.

Then he went on to show us how he'd burned off a bunch of hair on his arm with an accidental fireball he caused while repairing equipment (ADD much?), and the topic would've been dropped, except that as I went around talking to the other guys and getting pictures with them, he kept coming up to me and saying random stuff. He was one of those people who can't just, like, come up and talk to you; he's got to get your attention by touching your arm or your shoulder or like putting his arm around you. Maybe that was the booze talking, or maybe I just got hit on by a rock star. XD

He kept telling me my glasses were cool. The second time, he was wearing glasses too, so I made him switch with me and then he made fun of how blind I was.


Me with New Rob, who replaced Old-Asian-Rob on keys.


Everyone with Zach (guitar)


Me with Dave (vocals and guitar)

I talked to Jacob (drums) for a really long time. He remembered some discs I gave them of pictures of Mark and Rob when both left the band last summer. He also remembered my story about missing Relient K and then seeing Mae at the Warped Tour in '05 and how their set made it all worthwhile.



Mark came over again after that and Jacob went to pack up his gear. Then I realized I'd forgotten to ask about the whole "multi-sensory aesthetic experience" theory their name comes from. I knew one of the guys in the band had come up with the theory, but I didn't know which one. Mark told me I should ask Jacob about it, so I jumped up on stage and talked to him about it for a really long time.

Turns out the idea derives from the two years of intense research he did on my favorite condition ever, synaesthesia. He told me the idea of the band was to recreate a synaesthetic experience for non-synaesthetes, hence the random videos they had playing behind them during the set. I think they should find a way to incorporate smell into shows, too. That'd be REALLY multi-sensory.

When we were done talking, I was walking back over to where Trish and Fran were waiting for me to stop being a groupie when Mark bounded over to me yet again, saying, "Hey! Look at that guy. Don't you think he's a pretty foxy guy?" I laughed but I couldn't figure out whether he was talking about Jacob or the crew guy, both of whom were in the vicinity of where he pointed. Then he randomly asked how old I was (I couldn't help thinking of Adventure Time: "how old ARE you?" "I'm twelve years old!" "I'm twenty-eight!") He got all wistful thinking about when he was nineteen and told me it's a good age and I should squeeze as much goodness out of it as possible.

Which I guess I've been doing this week. I keep thinking about an away message one of my friends had up a couple years ago - something to the effect of, in twenty years, you won't remember the homework, but the fast times in between. And yeah, the TAI spin on that statement WAS necessary.

I'm off to class for now. But don't think this is the end. The end is not the end.

--------------

Currently listening: Kiros - A Single Strand

I never tire of sleeping with giants.

-------------------

Oooh myyy. My body hurts. And it was so worth every push and shove, every moment my lungs couldn't find the space to fill up, my shoelaces getting untied and unlaced, the time I got knocked down and pigpiled upon, and the time someone crashed into me and I sort of bit off a little bit of my tongue. Why?

Because after all the blood, sweat, and tears (okay, mostly just sweat), I was only ten feet away from the band's beautiful faces.



I managed to hand Billvy the present I made them, and I was sort of bummed that other people had already handed him presents. BUT, he got theirs in the middle of songs; I gave him mine between songs and he actually thanked me. He didn't say it into the microphone or anything. He just mouthed it to me. We had a moment. It was beautiful.



Bill sang right at the edge of the stage for most of the show and I was just inches short of being able to reach his hand when he would reach out into the crowd. A little further into the set, I wiggled my way just a few inches closer, which put me in range. At one point he was leaning completely on my hand. And I got to touch his pretty hair. And during "About a Girl," when he sang the line, "I'm not gonna waste these words about a girl," he reached out and held my hand and looked right into my eyes!! *fangirl squeee*

Then, at the very end of the show, Sisky came right up to the edge of the stage and I stroked his bass. That was pretty sweet, too. The lights went down for a minute and we saw the Butcher holding up my present, which was glowing in the dark!! Aaand Billvy played a brand new song called "Winter Passing" on his acoustic guitar (*melts*). Obsessive fan that I am, I already knew some of the words and sang along.



Oh, mid-show, Bill decided to announce that a couple off to the side of the stage had been making out the entire show. And that they were still making out, even after he made the announcement.

After the show, Trish ran into Sisky and took a picture with him, but Sarah and I didn't get a chance to. But the night wasn't over yet. Trish, Sarah and I went out behind the venue to lurk the tour bus. That SAME psycho little girl from the Cobra show was there. Not the one with the AA-cup bra, but the one we actually talked to who said she was gonna stay there til 3AM and tried to tell everyone she was 15 (a blatant lie; we're not sure she's even reached puberty yet, actually).



Luckily, we also ran into cooler people, such as Sisky Business and Michael Guy Chislett. We saw the Butcher for like 30 seconds but he was just looking for his art supplies underneath the bus and wouldn't speak to us.





I also saw Jack the camera guy and asked if I could help him make TAITV this week, but he said they weren't filming anything tonight. Maybe I can help next time they're in Boston. And maybe I'll actually get to meet Billvy next time (but being serenaded by him was enough this time).

In a last ditch attempt to attract Billvy's attention, I wrote backwards in the dirt on the tour bus window, "BILLVY!! COME OUT! <3" But I guess he didn't see it. I also wrote "TAI is wicked awesome" (a true Bostonian remark) and my blog address, strategically placed under the address of the William Beckett blog. Did anyone see that....? XD



Then we got Sarah to the commuter rail and pigged out at Dunks. On a side note, their white hot chocolate is wack. Not wiggity wack; just regular type. Hahaha. When I bought it, I said, "My moves are white hot. No they're not. But my chocolate is."

Some sorta update

It's been a while since I posted. Life happens. I'm back.

I'm revising a poem about the southwest and I'll post it when this draft is done.

My schedule next quad looks like this:

M/W/F:
9:10 - Sociological Perspectives
1:00 - Astronomy (I've ALWAYS wanted to take astronomy!!)
6:30 (Mondays only) - Intro to Digital Video Production (which I should have taken before doing GO-FILM last year OR applied comm this year... thanks to the kind souls in the comm arts department who let me do things a little out of order =D).

T/Th (I refuse to abbreviate Thursday with the letter R.)
11:30 - Great Ideas, Antiquity (with my faculty hero, Brian Glenney.)
8:00 - Photography

Fourth quad I drop Sociology and Philosophy and pick up aerobic walking. Hmm. So I'll hardly have any academics at that point. Yet somehow I'm making 16 credits...? Maybe I should pick up another quad class so I don't get bored. Or maybe I should just get working on that book. We'll see.

Today I'll be babysitting from my usual time, 12:45, until the kids go to school tomorrow morning, and I'm getting a hundred bucks for this. Which is excellent, since I wasn't sure how I was going to pay Trish back for our The Academy Is... tickets. The Lord will provide!

And since I'm already talking about TAI... ONE WEEK LEFT!!! Yeah, we're going into Boston like 5 hours early to lurk the venue.... And as soon as we find Jack the camera guy, Ima ask him if I can do an internship with him.... XD