Dicks and stones

I got an interesting message on Facebook yesterday. From my ex's brother. (I suppose that, on principle, I am obliged to give him a code name, although I have no concern for his identity or feelings. The only suitable one I can think of is a monosyllabic variation of Richard, so let's go with that.)

So, dick messages me saying that I shouldn't still be Facebook friends with his little sister, Ghostbait (who I actually think is the only member of that family worth staying friends with). According to dick, this continued friendship is some wacky manipulation on my part to get back together with his brother, or something like that. Which it is not. After the initial break up, I was open to the possibility of us getting back together in the distant future. Now I am not. The basis for my continued virtual friendship with your sister, dick, is that I think she's cool beans and I care about what's going on with her. If she has a problem with this, she can delete me.

But it seems your real complaint, dick, is a blog I posted four months ago, on the night that your brother broke up with me (not the other way around, as you seem to assume). Dick seems to think my cathartic emotional vomit was an intentional attack on his brother's character. How a verbally articulated reflection on what I learned about myself and about what I want from a guy, a list of good memories from an ended relationship, and acknowledgment that it was really painful to say goodbye to all those good things, is an ad hominem attack, I'm not entirely sure, but apparently it was. Intentional and malicious. Apparently I've done a lot of intentionally malicious stuff to dick and his family. You know me, how malicious I always am and stuff.

Did I mention that dick has never read said post? No, his friends told him about all the "terrible things I said," and he still refuses to read it now that I've pointed out that he has zero grounds for any of his accusations. (I'm not sure why his friends were reading their friend's brother's ex-girlfriend's blog, but who am I to grudge a reader? They can read if they want. Maybe they can let him know I'm now bashing him instead of his brother.) As a matter of fact, this post is the first malicious thing I've done to dick or any of his kin, because to this point dick is the only one who's deserved it.

You keep saying you don't want to discuss this anymore, yet you're the one still pitching accusations, dick. All the ways I've "intentionally" hurt/wronged/attacked/clung to your family. Your ego must be made of glass for you to even still be talking about it. Clearly you just want to fight. How mature of you. And how mature for you to intentionally misspell my name multiple times per message. Whoa, you really showed me, huh? I've got nothing else to say to you directly, dick; it's like arguing with a bird feeder. Maybe this will get around to you, maybe it won't. I don't care either way. I gave you the benefit of the doubt when I was head over heels for your brother even though my friends said you were an ass, but not anymore. They were right.

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Oh! Update! Now I am a "liar" and I should "fuck off." Wait, who initiated this conversation....? Hahaha it's actually kind of funny. Infuriating. But funny.