Dismantle. Repair.

I'm home. I wasn't going to leave til tomorrow, but I didn't feel like sitting still. I still don't feel like sitting still. I'm very restless and discontent. I want to be somewhere else. I want to be with other people, and the people I want to be with the most are the hardest to pin down.

On the bright side, I got to see Joe tonight! It felt so normal for him to be there, and I can't explain why; even when he was going to Gordon last year, it wasn't like we hung out all the time. But somehow it was like he never left. We made pizza at his sister's apartment and I brought peanut butter brownies. I bring brownies to almost everything, and if not brownies, then ba-freakin-nana awesome bread or seven-layer dip. Pretty much I buy people's friendship with food. Ahaha, I hope that's not actually true. I just really like feeding people.

Anyway, after that we went to the Prancing Pony, which is the new "tavern" on campus. It's got a lovely atmosphere and really feels like the old-time pub from Lord of the Rings. There are only two problems. One, it's not actually called "the Prancing Pony," although all the cool kids call it that. It's actually named after our donor's cat, Chester, and when some kids decided to be funny and steal the "Chester's Place" sign, our donor got pissed and threatened to withdraw funding. Eek. The other problem is that it's not even a real tavern because they don't serve alcohol. I'm not saying I'd drink it, even if I was of age. But come on, people. As my poetry professor said one class, "Why don't they get a fake brothel on campus, too?"

I digress again. After the tavern, we went to Claymore, where a friend of Joe's and Sarah's gave them free drinks. Good stuff. Claymore is where most of my meal points go these days. Heh. Throughout all of this, the crowd of people with us was dwindling until it was just me and Joe. We walked around and visited some people in Wilson and Rider. One of Joe's friends in Rider has covered his entire wall with bottle caps. It looks fantastic and I kind of want to cover my bedroom door with bottle caps so I can pretend I'm half as awesome as this kid.

A little before 10, Sarah and Joe left for home and I decided to do the same. And here I am, ready for the next thing. I'm ready for another concert. The more you go to, the worse the withdrawal symptoms get. Gill and I might go see Cobra Starship on Friday. That would rule. Unless it's all psychotic little girls like last time. Ugh.

Overall it was a good night. It was great to finally see Joe again. So why do I feel so discontent, like something just isn't right? Like I'm not doing anything with my time or with my life, and I never have anything to show for the things I bother investing in, and I feel like I'm constantly dismantling things and relationships and other people and myself without having any clue how to repair them.

Wow, emo shpiel. Sorry to dump that on you. I get this way every so often and you can't hold it against me; I'm a woman.

Spirited Away

Happy Plaid Day!
(checkers and paisley also qualify for spirit points!)

The first thing that happened today was Katie hearing the bagpipes playing outside and me booking it to the mini-quad in my pajamas to get spirit points. There I found Eli Donis, serial hugger, and Ben Morrow, my former Harry-Potter-loving partner in crime. Ben lent me all his plaid clothes and Eli and I made plans to swap plaid clothing at dinnertime so we could both get maximum spirit points.

Then Katie painted my nails plaid and I colored checkers on my toenails. After that, the day pretty much proceeded normally except for my poetry class going to an orchard and not actually reading much poetry because we were too busy being [college] kids in an [organic] candy store. Mmm, cider donuts. =P And I bought hot pepper jelly to put on crackers with whipped cream cheese! I know that sounds bonkers, but it's delightful, I promise.

After the orchard, I got shirts from Dan and John and layered myself in plaid stuff. I also made sure to bring the sword I improvised out of a cardboard box I found in the recycling room last night (they said you get points for dressing up like Braveheart characters. I guess I should mention that we're pretty Scottish around here, hence the plaid, bagpipes, and Braveheart references.) I couldn't fit any more shirts on my body, so I started tying them around my waist and neck. I had four pairs of pants, I think. I wore one of them on my head. Eli draped a few more shirts over me at the last second, and then the judges started counting. The sword was worth 75 points. I think I got like 130 total. HELLO, SOX TICKETS!

Except I just realized that most of my Gordon attire is at home. BUMMER! Who wants to lend me their clothing tomorrow???

Baby's a Red

Happy Spirit Half-a-Week! (Bummer that we only get three days to look like total fools, eh?) I went to Lane completely dressed in layers and layers of red. I was red down to the underwear (but they had to take my word on that.) And I brought red props, too. The first time I went, I only got 26 points, so I had to go back - people were out-spiriting me by more than 20 or 30 points! Not allowed! Haha. I ended up with 83 points in the end.

Tomorrow will be harder; it's plaid day. I think I have like 3 viable options. Too bad I'm not Matt Thiessen.... I might start calling all the boys I know and ask to borrow their plaid shirts. It's been too long since the last time I cross-dressed. XD

In search of Boy

Uuummmmm.

Katie and I are taking turns smelling my PJ shirt because for some reason, it smells OVERWHELMINGLY of boy. And I am baffled and confused for several reasons. One, I don't think I've even spoken to a boy in person in like two or three days, let alone hugged one or schneckled with one. Two, this is the shirt I SLEEP in. And three, it's not like this thing came straight out of the wash or anything. I've already worn it one or two nights, and this is the first time it's smelled this good. o_o

Conjectures and theories are welcome.....

Manic Tuesday

Today was my busy day.

Breakfast: went to the mailroom to see if the CD I requested from Philmont two weeks ago had come yet. No dice, so I texted Scott, who said he'd sent it a week and a half ago. GORDON MAILROOM FAILS.

Principles of Design (9:45-12:45): fire alarm went off, was glad I didn't have my computer in case I would've accidentally broken it again. Contemplated possible blood relation of my classmate to Adam T. Siska. Somehow transformed "random" geometric shapes into a significant expression of my present emotions.

Lunch: half an hour, which was enough to drop off my art supplies in Ferrin, buy a sandwich to go, and check my mail AGAIN. MY CD FINALLY GOT HERE.

Writing for the Media (1:15-2:50): Jo remembered that my name isn't Suzanne (probably because I interviewed her last week.... it would just be plain embarrassing for her to confuse me with someone else after that.)

Poetry (3:00-5:00):

Postcard

Hello. I am here
to let you know that someone is thinking of you.
He hopes you’re well.
Phase one of boot camp has been hell
but he says he’ll make it through.
Hello. I am here
Because someone carved out time to write just a few
words on a page
in the midst of a loaded day
because he’s thinking of you.

Thank God you got here.
I’ve been waiting all summer long to read his scrawl,
this month the third
Since I last heard from him. His words
I draw about me, a shawl.
Last time he was here,
we sprinted on the sky. When we got tired, we sprawled
in the tall grass.
Unstop my pen. I can’t write past,
“Wish you were here. Yours always.”

Dinner: 45 minutes, enough to sit down while I eat dinner AND dessert. Listened to the new Philmont EP on my way to...

Applied Communication (6:45-7:45): discussed our short film, which is probably going to be on synaesthesia. Some of the others talked about using the idea of synaesthesia to generate a narrative. This is fine by me. I'm a story lover. But their idea was about a guy who uses his synaesthesia to rob a bank, which isn't really up my alley. I guess you give and take, but I want to enjoy working on this project and have a product that I like. I guess that's a little idealistic for the real world. Better get used to it.

Trash Club just came by. I missed them. That trek out to the dumpster is so taxing. Not really, but it IS outside this year, which is a bummer.