A Dustland Fairytale

Once upon a time...

...there was a beautiful princess named Amanda. She loved pretty dresses and sunglasses and ponies and punk rock. But she had a secret. Every night when the sun set, Amanda turned into a toothy and terrifying AMANDASAURUS REX! Miss Rex's blog is much more interesting and frequently updated than this one, so I advise you to proceed there... IF YOU DARE.

A series of unfortunate events


This first one's not so much unfortunate as it is hilarious. Paul and I had our first fight this weekend. I mean, we have dumb little fights all the time, like "You're cute." "Well you're cuter." Or "you're retarded." "Oh yeah? Well... buh." Or "fuck you." "Fuck YOU!" But this time we actually argued about something. And you know what it was over? The shape of the 1990s. Don't question your literacy; you read correctly. The spatial form of the 1990s. Turns out my boyfriend is also synaesthetic. The argument happened because he says the 1990s go down with respect to the 80s, when CLEARLY they're an almost-vertical line, continuing upwards from the vertical line of the 80s, that curves to the right in the second half of the decade. CLEARLY.

But the rest of this entry IS actually about unfortunate things that have happened over the past three or four days. Enjoy laughing at my pain. Points for anyone who gets the music reference. =D

I woke up on Saturday hardly able to move because of a pain in my back. I don't know what caused it, but every little twist of my head or torso suddenly made me want to curl up in a ball and cry.

Later on, I stood up into the corner of something and took off a few layers of skin at the top of my arm. No blood, but it hurt like the dickens.

Then I twisted my ankle running from orcs (a story that I have yet to relate). Ironically, the second it happened, my back felt loads better. At the same time that I hurt my foot, I also ripped my hand open on some thorns, and by the time we got back to Paul's, the side of my hand was all covered in blood and looked a whole lot worse than it actually was. Apparently I also got a gash on my leg at the same time as the other two injuries, but I didn't even notice it until I went to change into my PJs and noticed some more blood on my leg. Mmm, yummy.

Today, I slammed my finger in my bedroom door on the way to dinner. I had gloves on at the time and couldn't see it, but I shook it out, cursed a little, and proceeded on my way to dinner. Then I took the gloves off and realized my finger was all bloody. But I am always prepared! I keep band-aids in my bag for such random situations as these. Disaster averted (or at least, evidence of the disaster successfully disguised. XD). And on the bright side, my ankle feels completely better now that my finger is bleeding! Still, I can't help thinking that at this rate, I'll be lucky to survive the next ten days before spring break.

Then I went to get my food, and EVERYTHING in the hot line had meat in it. If they'd had any turkey left I might've just had that, since I'm not too strict about poultry, but they only had pork. Downstairs it was burger madness night or something. I'd gotten a sandwich for lunch even though I wanted something hot, and I was not about to settle for another cold meal on this cold winter's day, so I got ravioli. I KNOW, right? I do not buy pasta. It was one of those too-much-of-a-good-thing scenarios in high school and I can't eat it anymore. But I got it anyway because there was nothing else.

Then I got back to the table, bit into it, and realized it was stuffed full of meat. >_<

Please stay tuned for what happens next. ^_^

5 comments:

carlydee said...

Oh my.
This puts Lemony Snicket's ideas of tragedy to shame, and clearly indicates that something truly amazing must be on the horizon.
I hope things get better, darling...

Paul The Sexiest Man ALIVE said...

IT GOES DOWN! BLAH@!!!

saraphimiscool said...

and then i saw you walking back from lane and i fed you vegertables. and then we schneckled. grood times. C:

Amandasaurus said...

ZOMGZ!!1!!!@! it's Paul.

that WAS grood times. Mmm. I better finish off those veggers soon. Nom.

Anonymous said...

: ( sadness...I think we need to wrap you in some bubble wrap!
<3 Megan