A Dustland Fairytale

Once upon a time...

...there was a beautiful princess named Amanda. She loved pretty dresses and sunglasses and ponies and punk rock. But she had a secret. Every night when the sun set, Amanda turned into a toothy and terrifying AMANDASAURUS REX! Miss Rex's blog is much more interesting and frequently updated than this one, so I advise you to proceed there... IF YOU DARE.

What time is it? ADVENTURE TIME!


Wow, when everyone's asleep, my house is like the soundtrack to a safariventure. Every step produces a creak louder than the last, and on a different note, too. Even the cabinets are in on it - in fact, they're the noisiest of the lot. Honestly I don't know how my Dad can go into the kitchen for noms to quell a midnight diabetic attack and not wake every person in the household; he must be magic or something. I went down for a snack last night and good grief you'd think the London Philharmonic Orchestra was in the living room! And I am invariably the last person to bed, so I have the good fortune to experience this every single night I'm home! Yippee. But it seems it has been a while since I last drove home late at night. Usually when I get back, Leo's visible over my neighbor's yard. Tonight it was the Big Dipper; Leo had already set, or nearly. Somehow I know Gill is responsible for this. XD

So why did I arrive home so late this evening, you ask? Well, my friend, it is because THE KETTLE SOCIETY LIVES! Or the slightly modified Kettle Society, I should say, "slightly modified" meaning that only half the original members were present. It was me and Robby tonight, and I must say it was the most productive discussion I've had about my story... ever, thank you. And he even liked the dorky name "Kettle Society," asking for a kettle time (deadline) when I had to leave. Sometimes I forget what a riot he can be. He was telling me about the time in high school when he was fiddling with a mechanical pencil in math class, simply out of boredom, and managed to stick it in his eyeball. Only Robby. I responded with the story of middle school English, back when gel pens were the shiz and I had one in every color imaginable. I had taken one apart or was chewing on the end or something, and accidentally flicked the end away from myself. Well apparently I'd chewed the end open because suddenly the girl in front of me was covered in metallic blue ink. And she was wearing white. And she would later become valedictorian, which we all predicted years before it happened and which rendered her very intimidating. I don't think she really said anything about it. But I felt her wrath simmering beneath the surface. Her icy calm demeanor said it all.

All right, enough reminiscing. This weekend Paul and I went to New York and it was awesome! Even though I complained about my feet almost the entire time (sorry, Paulface). So here's what went down.

First we ate dinner at this famous deli that Paul's dad recommended - very persuasively, with a gift of $100 cash. The place had a lot of character! I couldn't believe the size of the sammiches they served, but anyway none of the meats sounded remotely appetizing, which tends to happen when you don't eat something for a long time. So I got eggs. I felt like a spoilsport but oh well. They seated an author at the table beside us and we ended up talking a little. I seem to meet a lot of nonfiction writers. I don't know how they do it. They have to get things right! Making up a world is so much better because you can never be wrong! But to each her own, I say.



Then the show. Ohmygosh the show. Eh, only one of the three openers was actually any good, but Mae blew me away. The videos showed a lot more thought than the last batch. The last two were even in 3D. Glasses were free if you bought their EP, which of course I did. It was only available on this tour and smelled amazing. What's not to love? They had us activate the ocean scent during the song "The Ocean." Yummy. They played a few songs I hadn't seen live before, like my favorites "Breakdown" and "Anything."



The Blender Theater is a fantastic venue, for the record. Great setup, with stadium seating at the back if you don't care about being up close and personal/are too lame to dance. Little bars on either side, serving too-small drinks for too-high prices (gotta love New York). And extraordinary lighting, particularly when they turned on the fog.



And now a word of advice: do not walk around the city in Chucks that are a size too small, and then proceed to try and dance at a show, and THEN try to walk back to your hotel. It really. Effing. Hurts.

Saturday we went to the Metropolitan museum of art. On the way we encountered a street market just outside the hotel, where I got crepes for breakfast (yes, plural, because they were so dang good) and Paul got various forms of heart attacks (on a bun, on a stick).



The museum was enormous. No one could ever appreciate all that art in one day. But we came close, I'll say that, and we both got some good ideas for our own projects from the things we saw.





That night we went to dinner with Paul's godmother, Mia, who is an amazing woman - very bubbly, talkative, and all around a positive presence, which you wouldn't expect from a New Yorker. It was funny because the way she talked and looked, I kept almost thinking she was Paul's sister. She took us to an Italian eatery called Otto. It was a lively place and the food was pretty yummy, but sooo filling. When we were done she insisted on paying for us. What a sweetheart =)



We were going to visit Times Square again - we'd walked through briefly the first night, spending a lot of time gaping at the three or four stories of TOYS R US (all in caps because the thing was a monstrosity, complete with a ferris wheel that had character themed cars and colored lights easily visible from the sidewalk). But then we realized how beat we both were and decided to sleep instead. I only regret not getting the chance to drag Paul onto that ferris wheel... XD JUST KIDDING, I WOULDN'T MAKE YOU GO ON IT IF YOU WERE WORRIED ABOUT THE HEIGHT. But if you were worried about looking retarded I'd prolly just kick you in the shins until you did what I told you. ^_^

Sunday was basically just a travel day. Ugh, the stiffness. All I wanted was a good Pilates class after five hours in the same little seat with my oversized backpack taking up all the foot space.

I would have liked to experience New York for a little longer than a weekend. It's dull coming home after a teaser of a break like this, and all the things that drive me crazy, like the dog going bonkers every 7.2 minutes, seem so much worse. It was nice being able to walk anywhere we cared to go, and having food accessible all the time (albeit preposterously expensive food), and even lots of vegetarian places to try (not that Paul was into that). Even if you've got nothing to do you could always just go stare at Times Square. And it's so easy to find your way around since the streets are numbered. But cities are loud and smelly and I don't trust anyone there, so I wouldn't like to live in a city. It's just nice to visit for a little while. Next time, we're bringing the crew, taking a cheaper bus, and coming back in the middle of the night to escape evil hotel fees. Who's in?

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