A Dustland Fairytale

Once upon a time...

...there was a beautiful princess named Amanda. She loved pretty dresses and sunglasses and ponies and punk rock. But she had a secret. Every night when the sun set, Amanda turned into a toothy and terrifying AMANDASAURUS REX! Miss Rex's blog is much more interesting and frequently updated than this one, so I advise you to proceed there... IF YOU DARE.

Another tale of woe for Derry the punchbuggy


When I drove back to school last week, Derry the punchbuggy made it all the way to the off-ramp without giving me any trouble. Then he started doing that thing that he did a few weeks ago that we supposedly got fixed. When I press on the gas, he makes a gut-wrenching sound as if I'd asked him to go from 0 to 100 in no time flat, but just sort of sits there without accelerating at all... or even continuing to drive at the speed I was driving before his little epileptic fit.

We found our way to one of the few spaces available on campus, but upon getting out of the car, I was promptly assaulted by some super-ninja stingered insect. Didn't see the thing. Didn't do anything to provoke it. I just wanted my laptop out of the trunk. I've never had an allergic reaction to a bee sting until now, and wow; it really sucks. Don't try it at home, okay? I walked around with an ice pack for two days and felt like such a little wuss.

Derry made it home okay this weekend, so we didn't take him to the shop. Big mistake. Coming back, I hadn't even made it as far as the city, which is about halfway between home and school, when he had another seizure. Smack dab in the middle of some of the worst towns in our area. Afraid of pulling over and getting shot, I kept driving until I hit town. My parents had to come retrieve me and take me back to school.

Now I am here without a car, which wouldn't be so bad if A) I hadn't just paid $89 to join a gym off campus, B) I didn't need to go to the store to replace my deodorant, which inexplicably disappeared from my drawer over the weekend, and C) I had something to give Mama Swede for her birthday. As it stands I am presentless, deodorantless, and losing money while gaining weight. I'll bet little Derry never realized how important he was. I sure didn't. I'm sorry, old buddy. Get better quick so we can go puttering around town again. Love, Amandasaurus.

1 comments:

Smart Ass Sara said...

Oh my- I totally had this happen to me on the bridge between MN & WI..which is over Lake Superior..like really high. The problem? God damn spark plugs. GO FIGURE>